Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
