yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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