WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
