Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
