And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
