you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
