Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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