what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
