I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
