I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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