She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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