i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
