Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
