I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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