I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
