So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
