How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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