Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
