3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
