Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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