dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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