after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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