i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
