At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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