im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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