I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
