Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
