Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
