Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
