Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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