for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize