Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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