Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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