listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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