so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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