got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
there was a trapeze. enough said
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
