When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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