Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
