i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
