There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
