I look better un-naked...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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