I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
