He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I am mentally ready for anal.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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