butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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