i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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