Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
