I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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