I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
