I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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