No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize