mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
