I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
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Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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