I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
