After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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