Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
