I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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