you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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