There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
