I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
