Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
