Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize